


ANIMALIUM

by AliceWasAsleep



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Barely Legal, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Physical Abuse, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 19:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21062261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceWasAsleep/pseuds/AliceWasAsleep
Summary: Hell to the liarsHere's to you and meI look way above usSeeing no one freeLondon Grammar - Hell to the Liars





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning :  
-realtionship between an adult and a young teenager (don't worry it is legal)  
-sexual, mental, and physical abuse  
-suicide mentions?? nothing explicit but still it's there  
Please, please... only read if you're sure it won't be harmful to you. Idk if I can call this dark yet or anything like that, but it's surely ain't fluffy and lovey dovey.. So yeah. Love always <3

On good days, I'd remember how my mother put down a tray of food to our small dining table. My bowl would have a few spoons of rice and some salted dried fish. Some vegetable soup on good days. She would eat without saying a thing. She was not a talkative one.

On bad days, the bowl would hit me right in my forehead. Hot soup spilling to my face and clothes. My mom gets angry sometimes. And she would call me a dog. Ungrateful, useless dog. She talked about how she should've kicked and hit me when I was still a baby. so at least she wouldn't have to live this hard.

On good days she would chuckle, looking at the way I eat my food so hungrily after a soccer match at school.

“You are really a dog. I should just let you sleep outside, chain your neck to the street lamp and give you food once a day.”

One bad day got so bad, I got home to an empty house. A neighbor came running, short of breath as he told me my mother jumped from the bridge.

Ah... So that's how she chose to end all this.

The funeral was as simple as it could be. I met aunts and uncles I’ve never seen in my life. They looked at me, showering me with pity.

‘I don’t even know you,’ I wanted to say. But I was never good with words.

The only aunt I know, the one who would visit once every two years or so, brought me to her house. Said I'll live with her until I'm done with high school which is in a few months. That's when I met her.

Smoking on the balcony, looking down at me with her sharp eyes. She looked somewhere 25 years old, and if I were to match it with my aunt's endless stories, that couldn't be her elementary school kid daughter. The smoke that poured down between her plump lips caught the beat of my chest.

\---

“This is Hyesoo, she’s my husband’s sister. So that makes her your auntie too, Jinwoo-ya. Hyesoo is a photographer, she works with celebrities!” My aunt explained excitedly. That woman, Hyesoo, kept watching me and I felt so uncomfortable. No one ever gave me so much time and attention, it’s clawing on my skin. I wanted to leave the house since the first night.

I couldn't sleep. So I would escape my room and walk into the kitchen. Sitting on the dining table in the dark. It reminded me of my mom.

Maybe if we have a kitchen this big, a table this big, she wouldn't be so burdened by my existence wouldn't she?

The lamp was turned on suddenly, making me flinch in my seat. Hyesoo looked at me from the doorway, her short hair was messy and tousled. A nearly see-through white shirt covering her chest and I had to mentally slap myself to take my eyes away from it. Her long legs and beautiful thigh uncovered by the short pants she was wearing. My heart was thumping inside my ribcage, and I couldn't differentiate my worries of looking like a weirdo sitting in the dark. Or a need that sickeningly filled my head like a multiplying bacteria.

I was a young boy after all.

She walked past me and the smell of cigarettes burst in my nose immediately. It didn't bother me much, somehow. She took out a bottle of beer from the far end of the fridge and I tried hard not to look at her perked bottom. I took a breath when she closed the door and turned to look at me.

I didn’t dare to look back at her. And she left after taking a swig of that beer, leaving me once again in the dark as she turned the lights off.

The second time it happened, I was crying my eyes out on the dinner table. I flinched when the room suddenly turned bright, almost choked on my own tears. She ignored me just the same at first. But before she left the room, she asked if I can help her with something. I looked at her with my eyes still red and puffy, confused as hell.

But I followed her anyway. Like a confused stray dog, now that I remember. And her room, filled with red light, looked like another dimension.

\---

She took pictures. Her bedroom wall was filled with it, and under the red light, the people's faces scared me. It's like they're all trapped in the polaroid, smiling with a scream.

She took a picture of me without asking. I asked her why. She said I looked pretty, crying and miserable.

“Nothing looks prettier than a kid crying on his dead mother.” She whispered, taking another click on her camera. And I broke. I sobbed and took a deep breath before fleeing her room that night.

\---

Hyesoo touched me discreetly. She grazed my hair, the back of my neck, the low of my back, all when no one is looking. I was scared at first. But after a while, I got used to it. It was just touches after all. One night she found me in the kitchen again, with the lights on. I was trying to steal one of her beer. She just chuckled. She took the beer in my hand and told me to go to her room.

She showed pictures of me she took last time, and she told me it looks so beautiful she couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't understand what she meant, my face looked obviously puffed and red from crying. I looked miserable. But she said it's pretty and she liked it very much. She let me drink the beer and I winced at the taste. She took a puff of smoke, humming at my distaste in alcohol. When she blew the smoke to my face, I felt my heart beating fast.

I let her took pictures of me again that night.

\---

She kissed like a butterfly. Fluttering and dreamy. One touch was all it took to make me wanting more. But she never gave me what I want, not once. Everything was always on her pace. Her timing, her tempo. My silly self called it love. I got scared at the way we progress, but she said it’s okay and I cling every bit of my trust to her. I don’t know why, I called it love.

We hid from everyone, living like a ghost until auntie caught us kissing on the balcony one night.

\---

Auntie was so very clearly disgusted. Hyesoo left the house a few weeks later. I needed a year after graduation to find and follow her path to Seoul. I stole a note slipped under the telephone, rewrite the address in it I believed to be her new apartment in Seoul, that was how I planned to find her.

I did find her, living with another man.

\---

"He's my nephew." She smiled, explaining to the man she kept calling ‘honey'. I was so close to vomiting.

I glared at the man clearly older than she is. His jaw looked stoic, lips thin, and the dark shadow below his cheek made him look intimidating. His eyes looked like it’s trying to skin me alive, all the while he’s smiling as he took my hand and shook it firmly.

“Lee Byunghun. Nice to meet you.”

I was not scared. I was too angry to be scared.

\---

“You liar.” I whispered. Byunghun left for work and the apartment felt suffocating already. She snorted at my remark.

“Oh dear, here it comes.” She sighed.

“I... I left home to find you. I thought.. you were serious about..”

I couldn’t even manage to say ‘me’.

"Jinwoo." She called, voice soothing and warm. She never sounded like that before.

“I need that man. He’s a director of a production house I’ve been working with, I... I _need_ him.”

I looked down on my lap and my pitiful hands, clasping each other to suppress the trembling. I wanted to cry but I didn’t want to look like a child she seemed to regard me as. Her cold hands cupped my face and made me look at her. She’s so pretty, smiling like that. I closed my eyes and let her kiss me like it’s the last. I prayed to heavens it won’t be the last.

“Stick around. But let’s make this a secret. Okay?”

\---

The first time Byunghun got me a modeling job, I was trembling in front of the camera. My expression wouldn't come out and I look as stiff as a corpse.

Hyesoo took the camera from the cameraman and told me to focus. She smiled at me, soothing my heart and my mind. The picture turned out great. Byunghun tapped my back and smiled at me a second longer than he usually would that day.

\---

Living with them exhausted me like nothing else would. Seeing Hyesoo talk to him with that different kind of tone, seeing them touching each other in the most intimate ways... While all I got was a sneaky peck on my lips every once in a while. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.

Hyesoo said she didn't really love him. It was all business and acting. But her smile felt more and more sincere as the time goes.

Night photoshoot became my favorite because I can go home late and not see them interact too much.

One night I got home past midnight and I was surprised to see Byunghun sitting in the dining room, a glass of wine in front of him, a cigarette between his lips.

"Care to join?" he asked me. With his soft, alluring voice. My hatred towards Byunghun turned hazy over the years. I started to think why would I hate on a man who knows nothing? He's the one dwelling in a relationship ribboned with lies, thinking his girlfriend is his and his only.

So I obliged. He asked me stuffs regarding work. Regarding my days. He asked if I feel comfortable living with them. And I smiled, lying my whole speech about how I’m happy to be close with a family member.

"I don't have anyone else. Except for Hyesoo noona. So I’m happy I can be here. Thanks for giving me a chance to work under your label, hyung.” I said, tucking my now slightly long hair to the back of my ear. He was staring.

“You don’t only have Hyesoo.” He said. He smoothly glided his hand to mine that’s resting on the table, brushing his fingers against the back of my hand.

“You have me too. You can lean on me too, Jinwoo. Alright?”

My heart raced.

\---

He never acted the same anymore. So did I. I changed my behavior towards him. And as much as I feel filthy of myself, I couldn’t help it.

I was desperate. So crazy about clinging myself to someone. Having those specks of care and want from someone else. To be wanted. To be held.

Hyesoo was slipping away as Byunghun walked closer.

\---

He kissed me in his office, late at night after I had a photoshoot in the company building. His hands were on my waist, lips tenderly flattering mine. I felt held. I felt wanted. And I forgot what needing Hyesoo felt like for a split second.

\---

It was intoxicating, the way she felt my body not so pliant to her touch anymore. She looked confused and perhaps a bit scared, a bit at loss. I was so ecstatic at her confusion, it made me crazy. I leaned more and more towards Byunghun, letting my love for her dissipate. But at the same time, her loneliness made me so happy I just couldn't let her go. I played with her mood, letting her touch me only to deny her the whole other week. For the first time in my life, I thought I have someone on the palm of my hand.

I became the filthiest filth. I used to have nightmares about feeling so disappointed and disgusted by myself. But look at me now, smothering myself with all the sins.

Sins are drugs after all.

\---

Marriage. A fucking marriage.

I cried and screamed at her, throwing all my stuff. He was not at home, and that's when she decided to tell me about their wedding plan. I was devastated, everything crumbling around my feet.

“How could you do this to me!!!” I screamed. Five years of following her life, throwing everything else, and it ultimately led to this. She held my wrist, begging me to calm down. She hushed me, telling me words of reassurance and whatnot. Threads of promises I knew she wouldn’t keep.

"I can't say no.. his parents wanted us to marry, do you really think I can survive without him? Do you think _we _can survive without him? Jinwoo, you need to understand! Even your fucking job was given by him!”

\---

The way my heart broke in the most horrible way possible, losing two people in one day. By a simple vow of;

I do

Sickening. I felt so sick I want to trap everyone in the building and burn the whole ceremony. Turn them all to dust and leave it all behind.

Byunghun got me an apartment for myself. He said he’ll be able to visit me easier this way. He kissed my cheek as I watch the city from the glass door leading to the balcony of my new apartment. He insisted everything will be the same, that I will always be his number one.

Say that to the ring on your finger.

Hyesoo visited me too. And truly, for the first few years, it was all about keeping a secret more secretive. Keeping the sins under my clothes and my roof. I thought I'll get used to it, living between their love. But all I felt was numb.

All I felt was growing more and more out of touch. At some point, I started to dream about my mother again. Her figure, jumping from the bridge wearing her blue blouse and brown long skirt.

\---

It was just one fuck. Then two. And more and more.

It’s the only thing I have to keep me sane. Having people who worship my body like they’d wish they can have me fully. Seeing people fall from their high, eyes locked on to me like they’re afraid I’m just a dream if they look away.

I didn't even know how Byunghun found out, his thread of connection lies longer than I thought. All I know was he slapped me so hard, I almost fainted. He hit me over and over, kicked me at some point. I was left writhing from pain on the floor, while he smoked on the balcony. He took a few drags before walking inside and sitting in front of my cowering body on the floor.

“Why don’t you understand...” He sighed “That it makes me crazy to even think that someone else touched you.”

I cried. Sobbing like a child.

"I can't let you do these messed up things, Jinwoo. I don't want to hurt you, but if only you have the slightest idea how this made me feel... Hurting you hurts me more."

“I’m sorry,” I whimpered. Like a sick dog.

“Please promise me you won’t stray away again. Promise me, love.” He said, brushing my hair away from my bruised cheek.

"I promise," I whispered.

\---

At some point, I knew I lose my sanity. Or maybe my humanity, I don’t know. But his anger, his hits, were the only closest thing to feeling wanted I had. No one's ever gotten so angry because I'm slipping away from their fingers. It’s a whole new kind of love, in my twisted little lonely mind.

It’s a lonely disease, it kills you in a weird way.

So I just sleep around more often. With anyone brave enough to ask, anyone pretty enough to make my body interested. I even slept with Byunghun's secretary just so he fired her incompetent ass, making me do a spring clothing photoshoot in the middle of winter.

The bruises Byunghun carved on me made me cry sometimes. Cry like a lost child, alone in my bathtub with the tap water flowing non-stop. Screaming to the water that denied my implosion. I felt so abused and cheap.

But then I repeat the magic words to myself;

‘If he doesn’t care, he wouldn’t be angry’

Hyesoo just doesn’t cut out anymore. She lacked the effort. Byunghun does it better, he expressed himself better. Maybe I've finally erased the melodrama of first love.

Byunghun is real love.

\---

She visited me at an unlikely time in the middle of the night. Crying as she fell to the floor.

“I’m going to be a mother.”

God. No.

"And I just... Jinwoo, I can't live like this. We need to stop. I want to be a good mother, this baby deserves to have a mother that—"

"Stop. Just leave." I smiled.

She looked up at me, her beautiful face ruined and messy.

“Forget about everything and do whatever you want.” I walked away.

“Jinwoo, I—“

“After all, I was never enough for you. Am I?”

\---

I called Byunghun, crying like a madman. A knife on my hand.

“I will fucking kill myself if you don’t come right now,” I screamed at him.

And he did. Holding me close, kicked the knife away. I hit his chest over and over until I got too tired and just let my body fall to his arms.

“I love you.” He whispered to my ear.

But still. It's not enough, is it? I'm just not enough for anyone. If I was, you'd leave Hyesoo. If I was, Hyesoo wouldn't marry you.

Weeks later, I fucked Byunghun's business partner and he almost choked me to death. I felt whole, seeing him so angry like that.

\---

I snorted, running my hand past my hair in disbelief.

“Are you out of your mind?” I mumbled.

He stood from his throne, walked up to my side and leaned to his table. He caressed my cheek and I held back the need to jerk away.

"You're out of control. You know that?" he said. I looked up at him.

"It's just a bodyguard. He'll be more help than a burden, that is if you have no intention of cheating on me for the thousandth time."

Cheating is such a rich word to be used by him, don’t you think?

“He’s capable. Trusted.” He added.

"You assigned me a watchdog." I smiled "Don't bother to make it sound more glamorous than it really is."

He sighed. Pulled my face by the chin.

“I’m getting busier by the day, Kim Jinwoo. I can’t always keep up appearance to straight your acts out.”

I laughed at his words, pulled my chin away from his hold.

"Oh, right you're busy with the pregnant woman. Never knew you need to hit Hyesoo too. Got a kink of hitting a pregnant woman now?" I said.

He stayed quiet and I could almost read his mind, I knew the hit was coming from the back of his left hand. It stung me just enough to make my tears welled up, but I learned to keep it in.

“Don’t be so rude to your aunt.” He smiled. He walked away to the door, opened it and called for someone outside. I took a deep breath and wore my mask before the person came in. I heard his footsteps and I turned to see his entrance just because.

He's a tall man. Built like any bodyguards would be. Hair slicked back, his black turtleneck embellished by a cross pendant on his chest. His eyes...

It pierced me. Cut something in me and made me feel slitted open. Naked.

“Jinwoo, this is Lee Seunghoon. From today on, he shall be your bodyguard.”

_Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?_  
'Cause I always do  
Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new  
Now I've thought it through

_Crawling back to you_

**Arctic Monkeys – Do I Wanna Know**


	2. Chapter 2

Let’s call him my dog.

My dear dog is a tall and strong one. His eyes would look at me with a darkness that made me feel tightness in my chest. Quiet and mysterious. Something about him felt so perilous. My dog is a wild one. Ready to bite and make you lose a limb. Reminds me of a Doberman.

And I really, really want to get rid of the damn thing.

He's either great at pretending, or he truly feels nothing at all. One time I throw a can of beer to his face because he got me the wrong brand. Well, I didn't specify the brand, but still his cocky face irritated me. And he made no expression whatsoever. Almost like he expected my baseless tantrum.

One time I told him to get me an expensive cake, 50 kilometers away. I told him I’ll wait at the shooting set. But I left with the cute junior model and went home. A crew called me, saying my bodyguard was looking for me. And I just laughed.

I flicked my cigarette purposefully on his thigh in the car, when he was driving. And he just slowly flicked the ember away with his fingers. And I laughed.

“You really feel nothing do you?” I whispered to him in the bar, a glass of martini on my hand. He’s silently sitting beside me, not drinking the vodka I got for him. Not even a drop.

“You’re so interesting. A dead heart.” I mumbled, chuckling at the thought that I could stab him and he’d probably just pull the knife out.

"To feel nothing... Like you're in a dream? Are you living in a constant dream, Lee Seunghoon?"

I expected him to quit the job as any normal people would. But he just shrugged it all off even after two months. Like he knew it was the kind of shit he had to do. I wonder what kind of people he worked for before, to make him this calm.

My dog is quiet around me. But he can sure bark.

I hated that cameraman since the first time he laid his eyes on me. The interest and thirst in his eyes were clear to see, I can almost feel his licks on my skin. He's just plain disgusting. Nothing pulled me in so I ignored him completely. He turned out to be a tempered one, that ugly thing. Shoved me to the bathroom wall and tried to touch me in all the wrong places.

And my dog, as if something in his head ticked, found us and banged on the door. It made the cameraman flinched, though he tried to scream and tell my dog to go.

“Y—Tell him to scram!” He asked me. And I looked at him in disbelief. I snorted, pulled on my almost torn shirt while he panicked at another bang on the door.

“Fucking bitch, tell your damn dog to go!” He screamed.

A loud, strong kick ruined the door. And he came in like he’s angry.

Like Byunghun. But the anger was not at me, and it's weird to see. The cameraman tried to oppose him, walked up to Seunghoon's chest up and all. But Seunghoon just looked at him, with those cold animalistic eyes. And then he gazed at me. I simply shrugged, walked away and out of the bathroom. I think I heard a hard punch as I walked away. And it made me smile. The cameraman didn’t come for the next shoot. Or any other shoot, I guess.

\---

Hyesoo invited me to a family dinner with Byunghun’s family. I had to say yes. For politeness.

Seeing her and her 4 months old baby bump made me want to die. I thought I was okay. I thought I was over her and I’d be disgusted at the image of her carrying a baby in her belly. But no, it just made me very _very _sad.

Byunghun cornered me to the laundry room and kissed me, hiding from the rest of the guests. I caressed his back and sighed against his lips.

“You look so beautiful tonight.” He whispered.

And I smiled. What a disgusting man, I thought. While his wife was out there, actually trying to live decently for a damn unborn baby, he's here trying to bang me.

Humans. Whoever glorified humans because we have hearts are morons. It's exactly because we have hearts that we cheat, lie, and betray. Animals rely on their base needs and senses only. Everything they do have meaning and goals. While humans?

We betray the person we vow to love forever because a random beauty made our hearts flutter and the butterflies in our stomach stir. Poetic words for such disgusting behavior.

Trash.

Sometimes I like to think I'm better than them. Sometimes I agree with my mom's words. I really am a dog.

I suppressed my moan as Byunghun fucked me against the wall, huffing hot breaths to my shoulder. But this is love, I told myself.

This is love.

And though he might be a sinner, he's showering me with the one thing I asked of him.

\---

The way my heart dropped at the sight of the fake ceiling falling down on me was something I couldn’t forget. I remembered thinking about death for a split second. Remembering the dream I had about my mother jumping from that bridge.

But the pain, the pressure of it all falling down on me felt wrong. I didn’t realize my eyes were closed. I opened it when it all got quiet, just before screaming and yelling. Shouts of incoherent words to my numbed ears. I took a sudden suck of air, not realizing how my breathing stopped. I could breathe just fine. And my eyes saw fabric first. A person on top of me. I know the clothes, I had a thought about how it looked good on him this morning. And I wanted to laugh.

They pulled him off me after what felt like so long, asking over and over if we were alright. I couldn't take my eyes off him. And the way his legs limped. His eyes were on me, however. I shrugged, not feeling much of the pain in some parts of my body. He seemed glad. Maybe, I couldn't really tell.

He winced in pain and that changed everything. It was probably just a mild shift in his expression, but it ruined me. It ruined so many things and I didn’t even know why.

"Come inside for a bit." I said when we almost reached my apartment. He insisted that he’ll check on himself alone after the shoot, after he sent me home. The crew was mad worried but I told them he’ll be fine, he knows what to do.

Behind the closed doors, I told him to stay still as I started opening his shirt buttons. He held my wrist and I noted the way his hand is rough and firm. But I looked up at him with irritation.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” I muttered.

And his hand slowly let go. His eyes looking away from mine.

The shirt revealed his built chest, toned torso. Nothing I haven't seen in other men before, nothing that would rock my world like a teenager. But then I circled around his back and find all the bruises and colors a skin shouldn't have. I hummed. I touched his back so very slowly and he flinched at a pressure. He turned his head and he looked wary. I stroked his back with all the gentleness in me, like calming a wild animal and telling how it can trust me.

He sighed at some point. Maybe tired of being so cautious all the damn time. I leaned my forehead to an area with no bruise. I kept stroking his back as I whispered.

“How much does it hurt?”

“Nowhere enough to kill me.” He said.

Probably the longest sentence he’s ever said. I chuckled.

“Get it checked. Turns out I don’t want you dead after all.”

My poor dog is a loyal one. He'd protect me against anything.

\---

Being with him got quieter. He still won’t talk much, but I found myself talking to him more. I complained about my job, my day, my life sometimes. Just stuffs he can hear. Most of the time, he just hummed.

The wish to get rid of him disappeared and I started to accept him around me.

The one time I made him chuckle was when I told him about a certain famous athlete who came just by seeing me strip.

"I should really consider porn movies offer if I look that good I guess," I shrugged, puffing out a smoke from the half burnt cigarette.

His chuckle, I could get used to it. Even though the whole feeling, the whole premise of this situation is weird for me, I found myself feeling less and less sad. Some morning would start pretty good, knowing I’ll have him to pick me up and watch me for the whole day.

But I guessed it wasn’t love. Somewhere along the way, I believed he’s just not capable of such a thing.

“No picture of anyone in your wallet... Seriously, it's like someone made you in a factory. Are you not human after all?" I sighed, alcohol filling my head. He just sat quietly on the other side of the table, letting me go through his wallet because I was bored.

I took out his driving license and chuckled at his default, cold face.

“The day you laugh out loud, I’ll throw a party.” I mumbled. He smiled, just the slightest, finally laying his fingers to the vodka glass.

“You’ll be old when you do.”

I smiled back, “You don’t know that. I’m pretty entertaining.”

\---

He picked me up early in the morning as usual and I greeted him on the front door with only a towel on my hips. Because I can. Don’t people walk around naked with their dog in the room at some point?

He gave almost no response.

Almost.

I smiled with water still dripping from my hair.

“Wait inside, I’m picking my clothes.” I said.

I walked back to my bedroom, went full naked by the protection of my opened wardrobe door. He could've just come over and see, but I knew he wouldn't. Trained too well for his own good, I guess. I picked a jeans and wore it leisurely. I walked back to the living room to find him looking out the glass door leading to my balcony instead. I took my cigarette on the table and lit it as I eyed him.

“Like the view?” I asked as I walk to his side, puffing the nicotine out to the whole room. I like leaving the scent around my place.

He answered when I’m very much close to his side, taking another drag of the toxin.

“Feels like living on a cloud." He said. I eyed his side feature, his eyes looking somewhat calmer at that moment.

“Where do you live? Not an apartment?”

“No. I don’t like being in high places.” He mumbled. I hummed.

"It's easier to fall in high places. Also easier to get your judgment clouded." He continued. When he turned his head and pierced me with his gaze I felt more naked than when I greeted him earlier.

“Don’t you feel your life getting blurrier up here?” He asked.

_This is love, I told myself. This is love._

I shrugged, “I don’t know man, I’m usually on this glass door only when someone is fucking my ass so I can’t really tell.”

His serious face broke into a relaxed one, and he rolled his eyes. I laughed.

\---

One day my dream went different. My mom was not on the bridge, instead, she was at home. Serving me with all kinds of foods, smiling so brightly. I never saw her smile before, how could I dream about it? She sang me a happy birthday. She looked so happy...

_Happy Birthday to you_

_Happy Birthday to you_

_Happy Birthday, dear –_

_Happy Birthday to you._

I woke up with a gasp, a thundering heart, and a vomit crawling up my throat. I ran to the bathroom, only to get hit by a strong headache. My legs wobbled yet I reached the toilet with much difficulty. There goes all my dinner.

I sat in the bathroom for quite a while.

Ah. I got no work that day, I realized.

_He’s not coming this morning._

So after a vain attempt in living my day at home, I called him. Lied about needing to buy groceries when I don’t even cook. But that made him come over. And I found something that helped me move and live the day. A weekend is great to be spent with your dog.

"Hey, what do you eat on your birthday usually?" I asked. Eyes blurry against the frozen meat counter. He took his time answering.

“I don’t celebrate birthdays.” He said.

I turned to see his somewhat casual look today. A red shirt underneath a black leather jacket. I did tell him to come over relaxedly, it's an extra workday anyway.

“Yeah? Well that makes the two of us I guess.” I smiled. I looked back at the meat selection when he glanced at me.

We got home with two huge bags of groceries and I asked him to stay for dinner. I couldn't cook for shit and he was suddenly beside me in the kitchen, asked what should he cook. I chuckled and ask if he can make pasta at least. He shrugged and started working.

I took a bath as he did, soaked my body in warm water and feel my body unwinding. I hummed a happy birthday song with my eyes closed.

I came back to the living room with a full course dinner ready on my table. I clapped while laughing at him in amusement.

“You can do everything.” I chuckled. I took out a candle stand I never really use except for some days when I want to be romantic with Byunghun. Or Hyesoo, long long ago.

I was humming the birthday song again after I finished my pasta, a glass of wine on my hand. Seunghoon was on his seat with his eyes glued to the glass door and the night sky outside. Forced him to have dinner with me even when he kept saying he’d rather go home. I felt a sense of accomplishment, making him stay this long.

“Do you know when your birthday is?” He asked.

I hummed.

“Birthdays? You mean that time in a year where everyone congratulates you on a life you never asked for? Telling you to be grateful... Because even if you're feeling like you want to fucking die, at least you're alive and is surrounded by people who hate you? No, I don't know my birthday. Thank heavens."

He looked away from the glass door and to me. I kept my eyes to the pretty red my wine shined.

“My mother killed herself before she got the motivation to tell me when my birthday is." I chuckled, putting down my wine glass and walked over to the glass door. I opened it wide, letting the noisy wind rushes in and kill the candlelights. Walking out to the balcony, I couldn't help but think of my mother. And the dreams where I saw her jumping off the bridge. I looked down and felt... free.

A pair of arms reached out to the railings I held onto from behind me. He’s caging me against the height and death down under. I chuckled.

“Of all things, my dead mother managed to pull you in? You weirdo.”

And I felt his lips on the base of my neck. He’s smiling, that fucking dog.

"Sadness really attract you animals..." I whispered.

_“Nothing looks prettier than a kid crying on his dead mother.”_

I took a deep, shaky breath. I’d like to think it was because of the small kisses on my neck, and not my memories of Hyesoo and the simpler times of my life.

"It's not about your mother," Seunghoon said, "It's just you."

It sounds like a typical man would say just to fuck me. But it sounds different, coming out of his lips.

"You're hiding something, are you? From the world... I can feel it." He said.

I chuckled, ran my hand to his muscular arms caging me my balcony. His rough skin felt nice on my fingers.

"Say that for yourself, you factory-made man. I know nothing about you except for your name. You’re like a—“

He bit on the perfect spot and I had to stop to sigh.

“You’re like a stray dog.”

His grope on my crotch was closer to harsh than sensual. But for that moment, it worked wonders. I held on his wrist as he played with me from outside my pants. And my sight was blurry already. Grinding against his hand, I breathed from my mouth as my heartbeat raced. I feel him growing against my ass and I wonder I he'd fuck me on my balcony. I sucked a sharp breath when he squeezed his palm way too hard it hurts. But it hurts just right. My head leaned back to his shoulder and turned my head, trying my luck to get a taste of his lips. He was willing. He was leaning closer to me too. I felt the fulfillment of kissing him before I even touched the wine-stained lips of his.

And a ring on my door.

I froze, my brain shot right back up to reality.

“Stop,” I whispered. But he wouldn’t.

“Seunghoon, stop—“ Another ring. And he finally snapped out of it.

“You should—You—“ I was in a daze, I couldn’t think straight. All I know was it must be Byunghun. And if he found out, all hell will break loose.

“I’ll hide.” He whispered. He left my back and walked to my bedroom. My heart was thundering in my chest. I looked at the dinner table, clearly used by two people. Byunghun will kill me, was all in my head. No time to fix the apartment, I had to make up excuses. Another ring, getting more and more impatient. I took a deep breath and walked up to the door. I didn’t even check the door viewer, I was so sure.

And I opened the door to find Hyesoo.

Eyes burning in anger, red and lost.

“Hyesoo, what—“

She barged in without permission, she looked around as if she was looking for something. I saw the way she halted her steps seeing the dinner table. I tried to hold her hands but she swatted me away. She walked over to the bedroom and I felt my heart running so fast.

"Hyesoo, what's wrong?" I plead. But she wouldn't listen. I followed her to my bedroom and she was just standing there, breathing loudly while eyes bore a hole to my bed.

I didn’t know I could still feel so much worry for her. I walked up to her back, both hands on her shoulder. I rubbed her shaking arms slowly.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

“Are you sleeping with my husband?”

\---

_He made me feel so good. Is this love?_

_“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered._

_I whimpered under his touch._

_“Ssh... Don’t let Hyesoo hear you.”_

_Maybe this is love. I feel like I’m flying. This must be love._

_"Aah... Hyung—"_

_I loved him so much. Especially when he gets angry and slapped me until I almost lose consciousness. The fact that he wants me so much, all to himself..._

_Isn’t that love?_

\---

“Hyesoo, listen—“

"I read your messages. I knew something was wrong with the way he's always so secretive. I knew, but—" She sobbed, walked away from my hold and turned to burn me with her gaze. I felt so hurtful.

“How could it be you? Jinwoo, how could you do that to me?”

Her voice breaking more and more by every word she said.

“Hyesoo.. no.. You’re the only—“

"You're my nephew... Jinwoo, you're my nephew, what are you doing?"

"No, I'm not." I whispered "No. You loved me. You said you did... You can't say I'm your nephew, not after—"

“Jinwoo, we’re over!!” She screamed. It hurt me so much I winced. My hand slowly crept up to my chest and I gripped on my shirt.

"It was a mistake! I was—I was lonely and I was stupid! My brother is married to your aunt, for god's sake!" Her hand held onto the low of her growing belly. It hurts.

“But you loved me!” I screamed.

She froze on her spot. Never have I remembered screaming at her. Never, I loved her too much. She doesn’t deserve such tone, not my Hyesoo. But I was so hurt I felt like I might die if I didn't let it out.

“You... how could you do this? I loved you so much... Why can’t I be enough, Hyesoo? Why did you marry him? After I chased you around like a string was attached on my neck..” I walked one step closer and closer, and she looked scared. She’s scared of me?

“All I needed was you, but I was never enough for you. Not for you... Not for my mom... Fuck, not even Byunghun.”

A hard, hot slap on my cheek. It hurts more than that one time Byunghun choked me.

“You... you fucking dog.” She muttered.

\---

_“Call me noona.” She whispered._

_She's so beautiful. Under the red bedlight, naked and sleepy. She's so beautiful under me. She's heavenly. I was a shy kid I didn't know what to do. But she made me feel like a man._

_I felt like finally, someone wants me._

_She became all I need. All that's precious. In the fake happiness and acceptance my aunt tried to bathe me in, she's there without any mask of pity. She laughed at my late-night crying, at my trembling sobs from my nightmares._

_“Stop crying for a dead body.” She told me one night, kissing my lips as she took another picture of my crying face._

_“Because she’s rotting down there. And we’re up here. Drunk in alcohol and nicotine. And nothing is wrong.”_

\---

Oh but it is. Everything is wrong now. Would you still be with me if auntie didn’t catch us and told you to move out?

Would you still be mine if I managed to find you earlier, before Byunghun got into the picture?

Hyesoo, were you ever mine?

“Never thought I’d see you like this.” Seunghoon said, sitting on the floor beside my bed. Staring at my face as he leaned his cheek to his palm leisurely.

I was crying. Like someone stabbed me in my chest, right after she slammed the door shut behind me. Seunghoon reached out to my teardrop before it reached the pillow beside my face. I was laying on my side like a dejected puppy.

“But... this is really interesting though...” Seunghoon chuckled.

I looked up at him, heart still in pieces.

“You’re fucking you aunt? _And_ her husband?” He chuckled. Burning. I felt like he just threw a lit match on my oiled body.

“You’re really... So fucked up.” He whispered.

I rose from my bed, glared at him as I ignored my thumping head before I slapped him with the back of my hand. I was trembling as if it was winter.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” I muttered. And after he wiped the trace of my hit on his cheek, he got up on his feet. And I’ve never felt like I will get hurt more than that moment. I forgot how strong he is, the amount of force that I would need to hurt him. That man scared me.

His eyes slowly looked at mine and I felt so small. He seemed like a giant and my head fooled me to think that my room is soundproof. I’m gonna get hurt. He’s going to hurt me—

His hand reached out to my face and it's worse than my nightmares. I couldn't move, I felt my body getting colder and colder. I was so close to whimpering a sorry when he stroked my cheek, so gentle and almost lovingly.

“Don’t do that.” He mumbled.

I felt a pint of relief. Maybe he’s not crazy. Maybe he’s not dangerous.

"Don't you have someone else you want to hurt, Kim Jinwoo?"

\---

Hyesoo didn't say a word to Byunghun. I was ready to go down in flames, in shame, and in destruction. But she kept quiet. Byunghun even visited me the next day. I lied, saying I was feeling sick and I can't sleep with him for the night. And perhaps his life was doing so well, he didn't show any disappointment.

“Rest well, love.” He whispered to my ear. Kissed my cheek as he held me close, waited for me to fall asleep.

He left after he thought I was deep in my dreams. Soon, the weight on the mattress returned, filled by someone else.

“See? I told you she’ll stay quiet.” He whispered. I opened my eyes to find him again. Suffocating me with his presence.

It's like there's a leash on his neck, a rope binding him to my hand. Why is this man clinging onto me?

“What do you want?” I whispered, tired and sleepy.

“I just want to stay with you.” He smiled.

I hate his smile so much.

\---

My days turned blurry.

Seunghoon driving me to the shooting set doesn’t give me moments of peace anymore. He’s eating me away. His presence somehow reminds me of how my life is one turmoil after another. And he’s another mistake I made that happened to stay.

I let him walk ahead of me just so I know he won’t bite me from my back, ripping my shadow away.

_‘Hyesoo wants to have dinner together tonight, the three of us.' _Byunghun said through a phone call. Is this the end?

I didn't even realize we've arrived until Seunghoon told me, "Have a good dinner."

\---

"A boy." She smiled gleefully at me. I wanted to throw up.

“Byunghun said he’ll paint the baby’s bedroom blue himself." She added, a hand reached out to caress Byunghun's. I looked at it while my heart cracked yet again, after I thought it's already dead and rotten.

_“Because she’s rotting down there.”_

“We’re thinking about names, do you have any suggestions, Jinwoo-ya?” she asked.

Why are you so, so cruel? What have I done to you?

"Name?" I chuckled "Do you want a traditional name or a modern one?"

“Ah.. you’re right.. What do you think, honey?”

His phone rang just in time and he excused himself. My smile faltered like a drip of tint dropped to a drifting river. And hers, too, her mask suddenly crumbling to expose her still burning heart. I couldn't take it and I rose up from my seat. I rushed to the kitchen just so I could have a second of breathing. But no, she followed me.

“What do you want?” I whispered, hands clutching the side of the sink for dear life as I tried hard not to vomit.

“I’m begging.” She muttered.

I closed my eyes, the back of my eyes pounding like someone is inside hitting it with a hammer.

“Hyesoo, please...”

“Jinwoo. Leave.” She whispered. She walked closer to me and I almost sobbed. She took my hand gently and I felt so stupid to have the slightest hope in me. She guided my hand to her belly and I let out a shaky breath.

“Can you feel him? There is a heartbeat in here.” She said.

“Stop,” I whimpered. I’m gonna lose it.

"When the time comes and he arrived to the world... And Byunghun would still meet you behind me back... I’ll kill this child.”

\---

I should fall asleep and drown in this bathtub, I told myself that night. But I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to spend my night awake somehow.

And like a boomerang, I came back to him. My faithful dog. He came over like it's his job. I was already drunk when he arrived, more than just a hot flush on my cheek. I was full-on out of my mind, leaving all the issues behind and return to the basics of my needs.

“Dance with me,” I chuckled, pulling him by his wrist as I sway with no rhythm to the foreign song I played on my phone.

“So I’m guessing it went very terrible.” He sighed.

I laughed. He caught me by my waist and pulled me close. I hummed dangerously close to his lips, giving up decency.

"You know what's on my mind for a while, about you?" I asked.

“What is it?”

"I was wondering how to fuck you. So Byunghun can find out... Snap my neck out of anger and frustration.” I said, leaned my head down to his shoulder and sniffed his neck. Seunghoon hummed.

“What is this, a Stockholm syndrome you’re drowning into?” Seunghoon asked.

“What? No... It’s love, Seunghoon. He’s not here to hurt me..." I straighten my neck and hold his neck with both of my hands.

“It’s love.” I whispered.

\---

It’s not love.

It's a lonely disease. Hyesoo was the first person to look at me in the eye and considered keeping me around. The false sense of security was all I had so I called it love. Clung to it for dear life because even though I still dream of my mom jumping off her life, I could still wake up and see someone looking into my eyes. Promising things, like lies and poisons.

It’s not love.

But Byunghun got me feeling wanted. A secret he kept dearly. And it was better than the constant pushing away Hyesoo kept doing. To be told that I’m perfect and is desired like no other, to be held like he’d leave everything for me. Even though he didn’t. And he never will.

But tonight, let’s call it love. Also tomorrow night. And the next, all the way until I die. Let me have some love.

\---

Kisses. On the lips and all over the chest. Near the center of pleasure and all over my thighs. I chuckled at his precise, calculated touches. The holding back because even now, he’s still a faithful good dog. He won’t touch me on places he’s not sure it’s allowed. He won’t bark unless I say he can.

I’m a low, low human being. But under the sheets and behind the curtain, they don’t know this man is kissing the blood off my coat. The lies off my lips. The sins of my skin. Why is he here, doing what he does? I didn’t have it in me to comprehend, not tonight, not ever perhaps.

I pulled him up to my eye level once more.

“You’re so hard to understand...” I whispered against his lips.

His eyes changed... It’s so much less sane and conquered. He’s so lost and desperate, once again I realized the leash on his neck is on my hold.

“What do you want... Why do you do things... It’s so strange to me, you don’t act how most people do.” I said. I made him sit on the bed, with me on his lap. As I raise my body and align my entrance to his need. He was so lost, he couldn’t process any of my words, why did I even bother? I chuckled.

“Nevermind. You're too fucked to understand." I whispered. Lowered my hips to let him in, and he sucked his breath like I cut off his airways. Got him so deep inside, his normally strong dangerous eyes wavered.

It’s not like I was doing stable myself. I was barely there, just enough to have some control.

“You like me so much do you?” I breathed.

He was holding my hips down, tried to fuck me from where he was seated on my bed. I let him do the desperate grind, while I run my hand from his shoulders to circle his neck with my fingers.

"Ssh... Stop." I said. He flinched but he was still trying to grind his needs up my hole. I frowned and put pressure on my fingers. He stopped and gulped. I relax my fingers, satisfied that he followed my orders.

“Good boys listen. Only move when I say so, okay?" I said. He's twitching inside me and I found it so, so endearing.

So I kissed him like how I’d kiss my lover. Tongue teasing his eager opened lips. He was trying to devour me and I slipped into his warm mouth. Kissed him with no finesse and only lust, moaned into his mouth and make wet noises with the way our lips mold into one.

When I moved, he gripped on my hips. I drag myself slowly along his length, carved into my mind how deep he is inside. I sighed at the stretch and the friction of his bare cock, and his breath was puffing hot from his nose. I slapped my ass down and he sucked a breath. I made a faster pace, snapping my hips as my eyelid flutter at the sensation. I sighed at hummed at the pleasure, lips parted as he seemed more and more on edge.

It wasn’t enough for him.

So I stopped my movement altogether, praise his long beautiful neck with sweet kisses instead.

“What do you want to do to me?” I asked, hazy eyes searching for his dark ones.

“I want to fuck you.” He said through gritted teeth.

"I'm fucking you right now, not good enough?" I chuckled, trying hard to ignore his twitching cock inside me begging for friction. He was breathing from his mouth, the grip on my waist waning and turned into trembling caress on my sides.

He leaned to my chest, breathed an ‘I want you' that I could barely hear. He worshipped my skin and licked my nipple. I sighed at the warm wet touch. I grab him by his hair and caress his nape with another hand. He sucked and nibble with much care and it made me shiver, the thought that he could easily hurt me. Go hard and make me bleed somewhere, somehow. But he chose to hold his need back and wait for permission. He left my swollen nipple and run his tongue from the base of my neck and up to my chin. I expose my neck and sighed at the burning caress.

“You want to fuck me?” I whispered. He hummed, nodded against the curve of my neck.

"Only listen to one word. ‘Stop'. Okay? That's your cue to stop everything. Other than that... let me be. Understand?"

It was a useless safe word, really. Because even though I felt like I’m breaking and everything hurts, I let him do it. Do all of it. I screamed and shied away, but never once the word ‘stop’ visited my lips.

“No—No, please—“

It’s bleeding, I could almost feel it dripping to my white bed sheet. But I wouldn’t say ‘stop’. He pounded into me from behind, yanked my hair until my scalp hurts. He always shoved it in to the hilt, I felt his thighs slapping mine the same time my nerves burst like small fireworks. Some thrusts it hurts so much, ripping the wound it created. But I don’t want him to stop. Because by the gods...

“Don’t stop—“

He fucked me so good.

He let go of my hair and pulled out, I whimpered loudly. He pulled me by the waist and turned me harshly, threw my back down to the mattress so I was facing him. He looked so dangerous. A rabid dog. He went back in with a harsh shove and I yelped. So good. Feeling the way he’s ramming inside while I see his lustful eyes and long lost awareness. It’s a different kind of good, this fuck. It’s the feeling of getting fucked and ruined by an animal. Being hurt and abused in such a delicious way it made me moan like a slut.

His hand traveled up from my stomach to my chest. He pounded me hard as he grasped and squeezed my chest. My sensitive hard nipples hurt but it's fine, moaned in pleasure at it too. His hand moved up to my neck and I felt a shiver running down my spine.

"Yes... Yes, harder baby— Do it—“

His fingers were on the right places. He pressed on the exact buttons and I felt my head getting lighter so fast. My eyelids flutter at the sensation. I was close to the edge and whimpered like a dog,

“Byunghun,”

And he stopped. It's like I threw a bucket full of anger on top of his head. He turned red and blazing.

“Fucking slut.” He muttered. I was still drunk of my ecstasy and laughed.

“What did you say to me?” I asked, chuckling as I did. He was so angry, he just glared at me as he breathed through his mouth. Panting like a tired dog.

And I snapped.

I slapped across his cheek. So hard, the sound almost got me off. And I laughed some more.

“You fucking dog, watch your fucking words at me. I can kick you out right fucking now and where would you go, hm? Look for another dumb celebrity to drive for, you useless shit?”

He looked at me and the drop of his anger was clear. Dejected stray dog.

"Move away." I commanded. And he looked almost scared, unmoving.

“Get off me, fucking mutt.” I said again.

He pulled out and moved back as I struggled to rise and sit on the bed. I took a deep breath and looked around the bed.

Droplets of red, smeared here and there. What a mess, fucking a dog. I was still hard, so close to cumming in fact. But I need to do this the appropriate way.

“Lay down.” I said softly. And he obliged. I sat on top of him, ignoring the slick running down my hole to my thighs, with some red in it.

"You should behave. You need to understand how this works... You don't own me."

My eyelid gently closes as I guided his erection inside again, tightly breaching me. I sighed when it’s fully sheathed inside. I opened my eyes to his face back to being bathed in pleasure and haze.

“I _own _you." I whispered. I moved up until the head of his dick was the only thing left inside, and slowly devour him again. I'm so close.

"We go in my pace... For my needs... If you want to stay with me, belong to me... You better listen like a good boy. Okay?" I said. Took him a second before nodding. It felt like cheating, asking him to decide when his mind up in the clouds.

But well, cheating seems to be the only thing I do right after all.

I put my hand on his neck, choking him just lightly because I love the feeling of controlling him. Mixed with the way he's messing with my own mind. I moaned with every snap of his dick on my prostate. I guided one of his hands to stroke my hurting erection.

"Oh that's it.. tighter baby, touch my slit," I told him. His hands felt so good, everything about him felt so good. I was in heaven. My insides clenched him so hard, he was a moaning mess. His head fell back and his eyes unfocused. He's about to cum. My lips are trembling while it slips out all the nasty sounds of me. I fucked him harder and faster, his face growing redder by the second.

He came first, bursting inside and it made me tingle the way I could feel his spurt inside. Warm and oozing. It made wet, nasty sounds as I still ride him to reach my edge. His grip on my dick got tighter as he came and his dick pound in the perfect spot. I came with a shout, trembling and whimpering as I lost it.

Perhaps I did. I lost my mind.

Lost my mind somewhere when it felt so good, and I really don't want it back.

\---

“Should I kill her?” I mumbled. Seunghoon was tracing my skin with his finger, his head resting on my chest like a clingy lover.

“Your beloved aunt?” He asked.

I chuckled.

“Yes... my beloved aunt.”

“Do you think that will make you happy?” He asked again.

I hummed, thinking it thoroughly.

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

“I think—“

\---

He did it at her house. Kilometers away from mine. But I flinched at one second in the night, as if I felt the moment it's over. I cried, then. Sobbing like a child, clutching my blanket to my chest. I didn't know how long I cried but soon Seunghoon is by my side, hugging me close to his chest. He shushed me, calmed me with his warmth.

“Is she alright?” I asked with a weak, hoarse voice.

“They don’t know yet.”

\---

She screamed like mad, people said. Threw a tantrum for days, wouldn't eat nor sleep. She turned crazy, they believed. I visited her after a few weeks and she sobbed into my embrace.

“My baby...” She cried.

“I’m so sorry, Hyesoo.” I whispered, kissing her hair “I’m so sorry it happened.”

I didn't expect her to lose both the baby and her ability to conceive a child. Well, what's done is done I guess. I asked Seunghoon to make it a small accident, one that can happen anytime.. somehow. He's an overachiever. I didn't want to know what he did. All I know was he visited the house to see Byunghun to give reports and whatnot.

Overheard the nurse, they said Hyesoo slipped the stairs at home.

I don't want to know the details of how. I'll keep my hands clean of my dog's sin.

\---

"Jinwoo.." She whispered as she rests her head on my chest. With the orange hue of afternoon bathing her skin, she looked so beautiful covered in a creamy white blanket.

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

I smiled. Never been happier for so long.

“I’d be crazy if you’re not here.” Byunghun said to my lips later in the night. I smiled, covered his words with kisses. Enough love confession for the day.

\---

But those are not love. They are incapable of such a thing. I felt like I grew a pint of maturity, from all the mess. I realized I should stop lying to myself, feeling things as it is.

They are not love.

But this man is.

The one whose face I’m tracing with my finger. Making his eyebrow twitch and his sleep disturbed. I held back a chuckle, seeing his eyebrow formed a frown. I stopped teasing his skin and pamper his face with kisses instead. He opened his eyes eventually. And I shower him with a smile.

“Good morning, love.”

\---

_“Do you think that will make you happy?” He asked again._

_I hummed, thinking it thoroughly._

_“I don’t know. What do you think?”_

_“I think you need her. She’s your love.“_

_“You think she loves me?” my broken heart asked._

_“She doesn’t and she won’t. They can’t love you, it’s not something they’re capable of.”_

_“What about Byunghun?” I asked, hopeful. Last chance._

_“Not him either. You know it better than I do.”_

_I smiled. I knew about this, I just didn’t have the courage to say it out loud._

_“Then what should I do?” I rasped._

_“You can love them. You can do that.” He said, leaning closer to me, rough hand caressing my cheek before he kissed me softly._

_“And I will love you.”_

\---

Say it again, I whispered to his lips. And he smiles.

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3  
Hit me up @alicelovecats


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